A reader asks, "How does a gay couple navigate the pitfalls and issues of jealousy or envy or even unfounded suspicion when one partner has a close gay friend where there may be room for temptation?" We say that trust is something you’re building every day. Every conversation, every act of service you perform for each other, even every conflict that arises, is an opportunity to either add to or chip away at your trust. Confidence that your partner won’t let you down grows as you become attuned to each other.
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Today in our mailbag, a question about wavering attraction at what it might mean: "I just don't seem to even experience much attraction to anyone. I'm in my early 30s and started dating a year or so ago, after years of being closeted and then years of celibacy. In that process I naturally suppressed a lot of emotions and any hints of attraction (which have existed over the years; I don't see myself as asexual). Do you have any insight into what's going on here?"
A question from our mailbag: One big challenge of dating is the “ick” factor. I've been seeing a guy for a month now. We're similar, we have fun together, and I genuinely enjoy him. But it makes me uncomfortable to hold his hand, or to kiss him...And even though my gayness isn’t a secret anymore, I'm horrified of any association with a gay stereotype, which to me includes PDA with other men...
Today we answer a question from the mailbag: "I'm still addicted to porn. There's rarely a day that goes by when I'm not looking at it. And it's hard to walk away from because it works to get my 'intimacy fix.' But it's also gross, and I don't want to be in the same situation a few years from now. It makes me sad to think that I am emotionally or relationally stunted because of this addiction."
A young man wrote to us after he came out to his mom. Her response was hurtful. We thought it was important for him—and so many others like him—to get a virtual “mom hug.” So we asked several moms we know to write messages for him.
Mailbag question: My dad is a fundamentalist pastor, and he has told me in subtle ways since I came out to him that I will be cut off from the family if I ever act on my gayness, start a relationship, or even just come out of the closet. When I come out it will scandalize the church and my dad says he will have to quit his job. How do I prepare for this?
Mailbag question: My boyfriend and I are in the very early stages of our relationship, and I still sometimes find myself second guessing it. I wonder if these doubts that creep in are the Holy Spirit bringing that conviction or if they're a result of latent shame from my upbringing.
God doesn't speak in disconnected verses. He has spoken with His life—becoming human, and teaching by example. "The Word" is Jesus Himself, for “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God… And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us." To understand the Word of God, we must seek Him—Jesus. If we hold the Bible to contain the inalterable teachings of God, we must read it as a whole and in context; carefully discerning the Spirit’s movement towards the new Kingdom.